Character Creation
Laugh
In my undergrad writing degree, I picked up on a quirk of my writing where I would heavily depend on visual descriptions of the environment to break up chunks of dialogue. It seemed like every piece I wrote at the time consisted of two characters discussing something, watching a vignette play out in the environment that matched the mood of scene, and more discussion with those two tools really just bouncing back and forth between each other until the piece was done. When I brought this observation up to a friend in conversation, they challenged me to break up that pattern and do something crazy different. On looking back through my work and going over feedback and positive reactions from friends regarding my environmental writing, I decided to try to develop a story in a scenario that would rob me of my ability to use sight or visual descriptions.
Below is a sample of the piece. This scene is the opening of the story and the introduction of the characters. As a piece that lacks visual elements, the whole focus is on the characters of Richard and Taylor. This short story eventually got adapted into a screenplay, which can be found on my website here.
The abysmal cavern echoed with the memories of a fire long since extinguished. Richard didn’t quite remember how long it had been since the fire had provided some sort of warmth to the bleak chamber, but what he did know was that it felt better huddling around the ashes than anywhere else in the slimy room. A subtle shift across from the pile of consumed wood alerted him to his companion’s return from the chamber they called the piss pot. Richard swept the matted hair from his eyes and retreated deeper into his gaunt frame than a starving man should be able to.
He growled to the figure no doubt lounging across from him. “You damn well took your time didn’t you?”
Taylor’s crooked voice shot back across the blank space. “So what if Taylor likes his alone time? Taylor needs some time all for himself. Taylor doesn’t complain when Richard does things.”
“At least I don’t talk like the child of Nature’s drunken mistakes,” Richard retorted.
Taylor’s voice took some time to come back. “Taylor doesn’t like Richard’s mean words.” A shifting sound told Richard that Taylor was settling down into an inward hug. “Richard’s words make Taylor feel very sad.” Taylor’s words dripped into the image of a downcast face around a set of nearly empty eyes. “Taylor would appreciate it if Richard would rescind his scathing remark.”
“Yeah, yeah, cut your shit.” Richard didn’t know if his companion was receiving his venomous glare, but he sent it anyway. “I don’t know why you choose to make yourself sound like a simpleton when you aren’t.”
Taylor’s laughter sounded like an animal crying out in pain. “It’s all part of Taylor’s plan. If Taylor gives others no reason to examine Taylor and his life, then Taylor can do what Taylor likes. Even Richard had a hard time taking Taylor seriously at first.”
“I still don’t take you seriously.”
Taylor’s wounded laugh rang out again. “Taylor doesn’t believe that. Taylor notices how Richard keeps his distance in the dark. Taylor watches Richard’s movements in the blackness, sees how Richard moves smoothly when alone, but jerks and stutters when Taylor is around.” A slithering sound and a growing smell of decay signaled Taylor approaching Richard.
“Your eyes have been useless for just as long as mine have and you know it, don’t pretend that you can see.” Richard’s hands struggled to drag him away from his encroaching companion.
The chamber’s air stilled itself. “Taylor can hear the pleasing tones drifting on Richard’s voice when he occasionally talks to himself, hear the venom on Richard’s voice when he addresses Taylor. Richard always guards his words as if Taylor would steal them. It’s almost as if Richard thinks that Taylor is dangerous.”
Richard’s searching hands wrapped themselves around a rock behind him. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. There’s not a thing I’m afraid of and you know it.” The snapping of a jaw behind him caused Richard to spin hurl his rock with all his might.
The crying laughter filled the blackness of the chamber. “Richard is wrong about Taylor’s dangerousness. Taylor is nothing more than a doddering fool. He can’t even bring himself to hurt the fish swimming in the food pool.”
“Then explain the smell of dead fish in the room. I haven’t found a fish in the pool for days.”
“Taylor found it on the side of the water. Taylor couldn’t bear to see such a wonderful, juicy fish fall victim to the cave crickets, so he decided to save it. Taylor would have offered to share it with Richard if a certain person wasn’t so mean to Taylor.”
“You’re expecting me to be nice when you’re hogging all the food in here?”
“Niceties never hurt anyone. Maybe if Richard were nicer, he wouldn’t be starving. If Richard was nice to Taylor, he’d show Richard where to find the fish.”
Richard slid towards the sound of his companion’s voice. Running his hand through the ash of the fire, he wrapped his fingers around a solid remnant of the blaze. “Maybe a foot up your ass would loosen that foolish tongue of yours.”
Taylor’s hollow laugh barked in the blackness. “What good would an unshod foot be when Richard approaches Taylor with a sharpness from the fire? Taylor thinks his friend has had enough of him. He will return when he feels that Richard has cooled down enough.”
Richard lunged with his makeshift weapon, catching nothing but blackness, silence, and the passing scent of cave filth…